i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
