everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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