You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
