My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
