What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
