I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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