If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
