is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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