i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
