Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
