I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
