I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
How's work?
Spinning.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
