Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
