soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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