Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
