I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
