Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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