im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
