just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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