She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
