Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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