Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
