My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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