Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I lost the right to judge tonight
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
