"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
