You just made me feel so damn special
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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