Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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