I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
