can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
