you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
