I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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