you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
