so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
