i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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