that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
