She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
