I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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