i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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