The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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