Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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