It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
