I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
