I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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