I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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