I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
