i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
