when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Threesome in a minivan. New low
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
