No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
