meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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