Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Randomize
