i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
