You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize