Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
