I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
