is your mom at the bar?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
