your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
