The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
