Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
