Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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