She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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