you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
