Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
